Q&A: Do the French Ever Work/Do They Hate Work/Are They Lazy? (Given the 35 Hour Week, Holidays, Vacation . . .)

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Dealing with the Expat Blues

When you're living in a gorgeous country and you like most things about it, it can be difficult to admit or acknowledge when things simply aren't going well.

There are cultural differences between the US and France, but the ones that get you in trouble are the ones that aren't as obvious and you don't know about.  The issue largely happens to me when the same behavior is assumed to have two completely different motivations in the two countries.

Safely on the list of things that do NOT make me want to move - French food

When these things happen, it's easy to miss home.  Obviously, there can be misunderstandings that happen in your home country too, but not usually over things that are normal behavior in your country.  The problem here is when you do something completely normal and somebody is upset about it because, well, it's not normal here.

My natural tendency is to gloss over these things.  Usually, it's small and passing, plus what right do I have to complain?  I'm "living the dream after all" and I moved here voluntarily.  I have a good job, live in a nice (albeit old) home and have even managed to make some friends.

There are still times when it seems like EVERYTHING is going wrong though.  Such as:

• My oral French lesson online made no sense, even though the written lessons are fairly easy.  Am I *ever* going to understand spoken French well?
• My colleague seemed REALLY angry with me about . . . pastries?!?
• My friend had to cancel a trip with me after I'd already paid for a non-refundable hotel room.  
• I couldn't figure out how to pay my first electric bill because my "account balance" online was apparently only the most recent bill and I'd thrown out the original payment slip.  I received mail demanding payment, but still with no clear way to actually PAY.
• My very first brand-new car was custom ordered (this is normal here - you don't really find huge lots full of cars) and the former employee who submitted the order put the wrong color.  I am now driving my custom BLACK car, not blue.  Really a disappointment to have your first brand-new car not ordered correctly!

Ok, so it doesn't look that bad in black . . . black is considered a "distinguished" color here, so I suppose it works for a cadre

While there is nothing major that went wrong, when it feels like many small things are going wrong due to cultural differences, language barriers, etc. it can be tempting to consider packing up and moving back.  Just considering it put me in an even worse mood though.

Since I knew I wasn't ready to return to the US, it was time to deal with the "blues" head-on!  Here's what worked for me:

• I met up with a new French woman and practiced French.  Considering that I spoke no French at the end of 2015 and have only had 21 hours of formal lessons, I focused on how much I have learned and can understand now.
• I spent time with French friends, which helped remind me of the many things that I love about living here (and about the future plans I've already made)
• I went for a nice long walk in my town.  Over an hour of enjoying the sun and really looking at the various little houses, shops, gardens and other lovely things in the area helped! This is the source of the photos here!
• I spent time catching up with US friends also - strangely, it helps me feel more settled in my life here when I maintain my connections with the people I love back in the US
• Since I love seeing new places and learning about them, I looked at my list of places I'd like to travel to in Europe and neighboring areas.  There are at least 3 years worth of countries that will be much easier and cheaper to see if I live here - that's good motivation to stay for me!
• I had a good conversation with my colleague about what was really going on - pesky cultural differences as it turned out.  It's really easy to assume that "you did X, so it means Y" when it actually means Z because I'm American or because he's French.  The same behavior cannot be assumed to have the same motivations or same meaning when you take it out of the cultural context.  It's an interesting learning experience for sure.

These are some of the same things that worked for me the last time - get some exercise, focus on the positive things about living in France, socialize with friends in both countries and cut myself (and the French) some slack when it comes to language and culture issues.  If you're also an Expat who is having a low moment, I hope these same ideas may work for you!

French Banking vs. American Banking

Contrary to my love of most things French, I am not a fan of French banking (so I'll share photos of German food with you today).  

Here are the key differences:

• Online-Only Banks: They exist; however, they're not accessible for Americans.  You can't submit the IRS-required proof of your social security number for FATCA, so this is a no-go.
• (No) Free Banking: There is no such thing as free banking in France, at least that I've been able to find.  Sure, you might be able to get a basic account for free . . . with no bank card . . . and potentially no checks?  So, if you can live strictly on cash payments and wire transfers, you're good to go.  Otherwise, get used to paying a fee.
• Account Withdrawal Limits: There are limits on virtually everything that involves your bank card.  If you didn't receive your PIN for TWO MONTHS like me, then have a lot of things to buy due to an International move, your card will simply stop working.    There is also a limit on cash withdrawals.  I could only guess at the other limits, but I don't seem to have hit them yet . . . you do begin to understand why people still pay for groceries and gas with CHECKS though.  If you hit the limits, you then have to contact your personal banker to raise the limit.
• Personal Banker: Which brings me to the next item - you will have a personal banker.  Mine seemed very nice and friendly at first, even helping me largely in English (which, considering the bank advertises itself as having English-speaking services, is not that surprising).  Since then, he's been a total pain in my butt.  Primarily, I suspect that it is not his fault, but all of these ridiculous rules that France seems to have . . . however, when I again couldn't use my card and requested an appointment to resolve the issue, no appointment was ever made.  It was finally fixed, without the documentation I was told was MANDATORY, after I threatened to close my account if it wasn't resolved within 24 hours.  My card is AGAIN not working consistently (and not at all for online purchases) and his response was completely unhelpful.  He also ignores any communication I send in English . . . why advertise your bank as serving the needs of English-speakers if my banker will refuse to communicate in that language?
• Paperwork: You will spend 90 minutes signing your life away just to open a bank account.  You will then receive notifications roughly every other day that some other random thing has been sent to your online message system.
• Even More Paperwork: Forget about opening an account without proof of address.  I you're lucky, like me, you can provide the insurance attestation (it's good enough for the prefecture to issue a Residence Card, so it should be good enough for the bank) . . BUT, when you move and provide the updated attestation, be prepared for them to tell you that this is not adequate proof of address.  Really?!?  It's adequate proof for immigration purposes, but not banking?  When you then inquire if a water bill is adequate, you'll be told that only an electric bill is sufficient and it needs to be sent within the month . . . for a utility that only sends a bill every two months.  I wish that I were joking.
• Interest: You can pretty much forget about any sort of interest-bearing account.  The banker opened something for me called a "savings" account, but the only purpose appears to be to stick 30 Euro in there to reduce my monthly maintenance fee.
• Credit Cards: From what I've seen, a French credit card comes with insanely high interest rates and no grace period, so you're charged interest from the day of purchase.  While this still seemed like a good deal with the discount it would get me on the purchase, PB warned me that they come with all sorts of fees and generally should be avoided.  There does not seem to be credit cards of the US variety, where you have no annual fee and can collect points . . . so that my US card actually pays me for using it.
• Credit Score: This could be because there are no credit scores in France.  It seems that you're extended credit solely on the basis of your income.  If you fail to pay something, it's also unclear if there is any actual recourse for them to collect the money (probably just the court system)
• (Lack of) English-Speaking Services: Even the bank that advertised itself as having English-speaking services apparently just meant it has a single English-speaking phone line.  Once you open the account, your online portal, all documents, etc will be in French.  You may, like me, have a personal banker who refuses to respond to English messages.  While I am working on learning French, banking is a pretty complex topic and CRITICAL to understand, so the lack of ACTUAL English-speaking services is a serious challenge.

French vs. American Healthcare

Advantages of the French Medical System:

• There doesn't seem to be any cost-benefit analysis done.  If there is a risk, even minor, that you could die of a blood clot, they will treat you.  Update: they also do not wait for you to have a life-threatening reaction before prescribing an EpiPen equivalent.  If you have a food allergy that causes respiratory issues, they prescribe it - as the doctor noted, the reactions are often progressive and you could easily die before medical services reached you.
• Even uninsured medical costs are so low that I mistakenly thought they were my post-insurance rate.  Twice.  23 Euro for an uninsured doctor's visit?  88 Euro for DAILY injections at home by a nurse for two weeks?  Oh right - attending university is free here, so they don't need to pay college-educated people crazy high salaries just to afford their student loans . . . that's one way to keep the gap between "rich" and "poor" narrower for sure.  There is a premium paid for college-educated people (you still invest your time after all), but it isn't nearly as large as in the US.  This is also NOT a for-profit system, so every level of the medical industry doesn't need to carve out their profit at levels that satisfy shareholders.
• While I pay A LOT of taxes, the overall percentage for somebody like me is not actually that much different from what I paid in the US, plus my health care premiums, plus the FSA to be certain I could always foot the 20% that my insurance didn't cover, plus the higher amount I needed to save for retirement because health care costs are one of the big spend categories for US retirees . . . basically, the difference in France is that many people pay a little more in taxes, but then everyone is also covered if the worst happens.  You aren't likely to lose your house here because you get sick or injured.
• They prioritize your health.  I could have easily chosen to spend the last 3 weeks off work with nearly full pay.  Except, I didn't really feel it was necessary with my job and it would have hurt my plant to go through close and year-end adjustments without their only local finance person.
• The doctors actually explain stuff to you.  They tell you not only that they've determined you injured a ligament, then later, probably tore the meniscus, but also that it was this particular test where they moved your leg in this or that way which told them what the problem was.  It inspires a certain level of confidence in the diagnosis when the doctor openly tells you how they drew that conclusion.
• If you tell a French person that you're calling on Wednesday for an appointment the following Monday, they will be shocked because you're calling so EARLY.  Apparently, there must be a much better per-capita number of doctors here than the US if a few days notice gives you your choice of appointment times.
• Doctors will make house calls, if necessary.
• If you can't drive, there is an "ambulance" service that is made up of normal cars to provide medical transportation.  I will be using one of these for my trip to Poitiers for the IRM (MRI).  Or not - I decided to take the train and save a few Euro.

There are really no pictures that go with this post, so you get random French food.  This is a super tasty tartiflette

Disadvantages of the French Medical System:

• Daily injections?  Really?  This isn't really a "con" of the system, but I loathe needles and this was a special kind of torture for me.
• While I understand that there can be issues with people abusing painkillers, pain management is kind of important.  When somebody has torn a ligament, a week's worth of narcotics is not that big of an issue.  Especially when it eventually turns out to be a torn ligament and meniscus.
• Even though most French people aren't paying for them, I'm not sure what the point is in prescribing a full box of medication instead of just the number prescribed.  I guess the upside is that I can tally up my prior leftovers before filling a prescription, just to be sure I actually need it!  It also saves time at the pharmacy - they just grab the boxes and send you on your way.
• Again, probably because there is virtually no cost to the individual (and the gov pays either way), you are required to see a doctor if you miss even a single day of work.  Otherwise, you're taking vacation pay for it.  It comes across like your employer doesn't trust you, but actually the government won't reimburse their share without proof you were ill/injured.
• Due to the house call issue, your doctor really needs to be in your town.  You can't just pick the person in a town 20 minutes away who your friend recommended.
• There can be a little wait for certain non-emergency procedures.  Like, my MRI can't be done until February 28.  But, I've had to wait in the US for non-emergency MRIs also . . . and there is certainly a long wait for many specialists in the US.  It was over a month both for a dermatologist and a hand surgeon.

And . . . well, that's about it (other than dealing with CPAM initially).  Honestly, the disadvantages are more just nitpicky stuff and I can see why it is rated one of the best healthcare systems in the world.  Due to the low medical costs, I've still paid more in taxes than my medical treatment has cost, so it's still a net win for France, but I'm feeling pretty happy about the medical side of the experience.  There are certain specialties here with a wait due to too few doctors, but that's true in the US also (see above).

Update on my Knee:
For those who are interested, as mentioned above, it appears that I tore the meniscus.  I was allowed to try walking without the splint if I could tolerate the pain, but unfortunately it took less than two days of trying to walk around at work without it before my whole lower leg and foot swelled back up and every step was painful again . . . so I'm back in the splint until after the MRI and treatment is determined.

Of course, I had my own comedy routine on Monday and there really should have been video.  I had asked the doctor if I could drive with the splint off and she said, "if you can?"  I thought this was like the walking and referred to my pain level, so I was determined to tough it out and have my freedom back!  So, I tried to sit in the car and realized that I had to move the seat back.  I was quite proud of myself when I was in, foot on the gas pedal and ready to go . . . except I was so far back that I couldn't fully clutch.  "Ok, so I'll scoot the seat forward a bit. Yep, I can fully clutch now!"  Pushed the clutch in and went to press the brake to start the car.  And learned the doctor literally meant if I was actually physically CAPABLE of driving when I can only bend my knee unaided to the position shown below.

It's enough to sit my foot on the gas, but I tried, and failed, to bend my knee enough to actually raise it off the gas and onto the brake.  I yanked on my pant leg, moved my leg to the brake by hand and went to start the car before the less-stubborn, more-logical part of my brain suggested that perhaps it was not wise to drive, especially a manual, when I'd just had to use my HAND to transfer my foot from the gas to the brake.  This was proven quite true when an attempt to transfer my foot back over unaided resulted in my foot half on both peddles and a bit wedged between them.

So, there will be no driving for me through Feb 28.  Hopefully, there will be good news then and I'll only need a few weeks of physical therapy!  If not, I'll be facing surgery in a foreign country.  The period of time since I injured my knee is the first extended period when I've wanted to return to the US - at home, I know how to take care of myself.  Here, the forms are in French, the instructions are in French, many of the people only speak French.  Naturally, I'm in France, but it adds a level of complication that is really unpleasant when you're already hurt.

A Serious Injury, CPAM and the French Medical System

One of those things that I worried about, but hoped would never happen, came to pass this week.  I have a partial tear of a ligament in my knee, which means I'm in a thigh-to-calf splint for the next 3 weeks (potentially a month and a half . . . or an additional month and a half?  There was a small language difficulty).  The worst part - I live in small rural town and I cannot drive.

Well, the pain may actually be the worst part because it doesn't appear to be customary to prescribe strong painkillers the first visit, even for a serious injury (not even Tramadol, which is what I prefer because it isn't as strong and is an opioid, but non-narcotic).  This would potentially be ok, since I was given a prescription dose of a painkiller similar to Tylenol, a prescription dose of Naproxen Sodium and a pain relieving cream . . . except I'm allergic to soy, which I told the doctor (in French), yet I was prescribed a soy-containing pain cream.  Unlike in the US, you apparently cannot just call your doctor and tell them that there's a problem with your prescription or that your pain is not even remotely well-controlled.  You can try, but you'll be told by the receptionist that the doctor is too busy to return a call and you'll have to make an appointment.  Are. You. Freaking. Kidding. Me?!?!  The doctors here will make a house visit to ensure you have your required note for missing a day of work, even for a cold, but not return a phone call.  Not even to correct their own mistake.  Incredible.

Now that I know that, I've changed my mind about continuing to see a doctor in the town 20 minutes away who speaks the best English because, as I also learned, they won't make a 20 minute drive for the house calls.  I learned this when I tried to contact the recommended nurse for my DAILY injection.  This is another interesting difference from the US.  I've had limbs splinted or immobilized before and never had an injection required.  After having it prescribed in France, I looked up why this might be.  It's because they've studied the risk of a clot and it's near zero if you don't have at least 3 risk factors (I don't), so it's been determined that prophylactic treatment is not recommended.  The French all took it as gospel that I would need this treatment (but of course you need the injection!) and joked that Americans are simply content to let natural selection take its course for the poor tiny percentage of the population that could be impacted by this.

I'm guessing it also has something to do with the fact that a daily house visit from the nurse isn't so objectionable when the combination of your socialized health care and extra mutuelle coverage is footing the bill.  Can you imagine the cost of a nurse coming to your home for three weeks to administer a daily injection in the US? 😨  Not only would people not agree to pay for it, the for-profit insurance in the US would surely refuse.

So, outside of the apparent reluctance to prescribe anything remotely suitable for the pain caused by a torn ligament, French doctors have no qualms about prescribing you the entire remainder of the pharmacy stock.  This is what I left the pharmacy with:

There's also no need for silly bottles.  If you were prescribed 14 pills, they just sell you the full box of 16.  Presumably nobody cares since they're not paying out-of-pocket.  Of course, if you're not French, then you've probably also encountered the most incompetent branch of the French government well before you've needed any medical care.

In direct contrast to my experience of getting my work permit issued in a week and my visa arriving promptly, plus the prefecture finding me an appointment before my visa expiration, CPAM seems to delight in it's ability to be completely dysfunctional.  First, they incorrectly told my human resources department that I was not eligible for a social number (or Carte Vitale) until I'd been in the country for 3 months.  My immigration attorneys assured me that this was not true with the visa type that I have, plus they sent the link to the French government website that proved this.

It's unclear whether the next problem was CPAM or my co-worker, but somehow this issue never progressed further until I complained to PB that I'd been in the country for nearly 3 months, paying high social taxes and for a mutuelle policy that I couldn't use, with no Carte Vitale to show for it.  He followed up with my co-worker, who possibly never tried to clarify with CPAM about my visa type.  My dossier was finally sent over and, several weeks later, PB followed up again.  CPAM informed us that they'd received no such dossier.  My co-worker forwarded the proof that we'd filed.  CPAM then miraculously found my file, which had been assigned to somebody who was out on leave of some sort.  It seems that CPAM was content to leave my file waiting on a desk until whenever the person returned, but they were finally persuaded to do something with it.

PB laughed a bit while telling me that I was having my first experience with TRUE French bureaucracy.  Apparently, the French just accept this as the way things are here, which could be why so many of them are in favor of politicians who want to fire a significant number of civil servants!  Finally, in early January, I was issued my "temporary" social number and told that a bill of rights would be mailed to me.  The mutuelle insisted that my temporary number could not be used for registering with them.  Fine, I'll continue to wait.

Well, this became a problem when I injured my knee.  Even though I should have been covered from the day I arrived, because my human resources folks didn't persist and file until December, I'm told I have coverage as of December 22.  But, without a Carte Vitale, I have to pay upfront and hope that the French government will actually reimburse me.

The cost in France for an uninsured "urgent care" visit to a doctor?  Twenty-three Euro.  Yes, that's the entire cost.  The pharmacy, on the other hand, set me back over two hundred Euro, but that was for the entire stack of medication and the knee splint.

So, financially, the lack of proof of insurance has not been so terrible.  Of course, I have no idea where to send my "factures" or invoices, in order to be reimbursed.  The CPAM has quit responding to my employer when an update is requested as well (I should have pushed for my US HQ to include this in the services that the immigration attorneys were hired for - they seem able to persuade the government to actually do its job).  I will say that PB has made it his personal mission this week to resolve the issue and has our HR staff working on it studiously.  My understanding is that they will help me get reimbursed and to register with the mutuelle, regardless of my lack of Carte Vitale.

My fears before this experience centered more around what I would do if I were seriously injured in a country where I don't have any long-term friendships yet and no family to call on.  As it turns out, I was worried about something that hasn't really happened yet.  Le Américaine has helped a lot with buying my groceries for the week, driving me to the doctor and taking me back and forth to work.  Alexis, who is back in the area, brought me an ice pack and is going to help with my furniture assembly.  Another co-worker has also offered to pick up groceries for me or help with any other errands.  A new friend offered to accompany me if I needed surgery, so I'd have an interpreter.  On the other hand, PB had a brief moment of acting like I'd injured myself during the WORST POSSIBLE TIME (our CEO visited this week) just to inconvenience him, but then he recalled that I just received a large set of knives as my 5 year service gift 😈 . . . er, I mean he recalled that he generally likes me and should be more concerned that I'm injured than about the poor timing of the injury.

I have learned that there are a lot of things that are a bit of a challenge when you can't bend one knee.  Like getting up from any sitting position without something to grab on to.  On the other hand, my left leg is going to have quads of steel and I'll be able to swing my lower body around using my arms like a gymnast!  My poor right quad is having a time of it though as I pulled it trying to swing my sock around and catch my foot in it like a net.  You know, socks are overrated anyway.  As are shoes.  I posed this question on my FB, but fuzzy blue slippers are proper work attire, right?

To my relief (and surely that of PB), I managed to wrangle a sock and (untied) shoe onto my foot prior to our CEO's arrival and have not yet had to wear fuzzy slippers in public.  Which I'm pretty sure a French person would view as sufficient public humiliation to justify a home visit and a doctor's note to skip work.😊

Making a French Home Livable (starting with no appliances, cupboards or closets)!

Last week was a very busy week!  PB was off to the US for a meeting, so I was able to leave work a little earlier and start unpacking my house, but I was immediately aware of the remaining furniture that I needed to get (like an armoire)!  It's difficult to set your house up for comfortable living when you have nowhere to hang your clothing . . . or store anything . . . or put your dishes!  My primary goal for the week was to be able to live at the house by the time my appliances showed up on Saturday.

I have an old wood armoire that I plan to refinish for the guest room, but it arrived full of webs (and a couple of spiders), so I've left it closed up for now!  Since there is really NO storage in older French homes, outside of the dirt-floored cave, I knew I'd need an area to store things that I don't want in the cave, such as off-season clothing (since armoires are generally smaller than a normal US closet).  So, I bought a small, inexpensive cloth armoire for the office . . . which is now serving as my only armoire since my nice wood one isn't going to show up until I'm back from vacation.

The left is for hanging clothes and the right for folded - this is a common layout here

For things you feel comfortable buying online, I'd recommend CDiscount.  I've purchased many items from them already and they've all been of good quality (at least of the quality I expected given the site information) with quick shipping.  Larger furniture will have a scheduled delivery date also (like my table & chairs).

I also received a very good recommendation from PB to use Darty for appliances.  Of course, his recommendation was under duress because I threatened to make him install my appliances if I had to find a place myself and ended up with them just dumped on my porch!  Darty was great about scheduling a time for delivery and installation, plus the men who installed my appliances were very nice, careful about not damaging my house and explained in very slow French (and a little English) what I needed to do before using my appliances.  I had realized that I was getting a French-sized fridge (I searched for one sized for 2-3 people - why cool empty space!), but I had not realized that I was buying a tiny oven!  The metric system still doesn't quite make sense to me, so I sometimes think I've figured out what the measurements mean only to find out that I'm very, very wrong.  I'm not sure my US baking pans will even fit!

For my American friends who are still worried about where my "kitchen" is, I've realized that my sink has the pipes for a dishwasher, so I'm still debating if I want to buy one and put it between the fridge and sink.  I'm not sure a dishwasher really makes sense for just one person - I often ran mine in the US only partly full because I'd run out of something.  More importantly, my cabinets will arrive shortly after I return from Austria . . . although, one will clearly fit next to my oven now, which I hadn't been expecting.

This photo is from Alinéa, which is where I bought the same blue cabinets!  No upper ones, just a selection of the lower free-standing cabinets.

I think that having a whole house to design (almost) from scratch has me doing some serious nesting because I have themes going everywhere!  Blue in the kitchen, teal in the attached laundry area (entry carpet and curtains for the slider door) and a mix of those colors in the adjacent bathroom.  Living room in black, white and green.  Dining area with black, silver and gray.  I've even finished my guest room . . . well, not the spidery furniture, but this part!  My guests will soon have a dresser next to the bed and a spider-free armoire also!

Bottom line is that my last apartment never felt like "home" and neither did the house I was just living in, but this place does!  Even though it's exhausting to assemble furniture, move boxes around, unpack and try to figure out where I want everything to go (often involving rearranging the furniture), I'm loving it!  I've went from grudgingly entering an Ikea once (and buying nothing) to making TWO visits to Alinéa in one week, plus making a third order online.

My new house even greeted me with a winter rose bloom!

Obtaining a French Residency Card and Renting a Home in France

Obtaining a French Residency Card

I've read horror stories about prefecture appointments and the difficulty involved in getting a Carte de Séjour, so I was expecting an unpleasant experience.  In my case, I was pleasantly surprised; however, this may have been because my documents were prepared by immigration attorneys and I had a French-speaking assistant who came with me.

The start to the appointment was rather ominous because the man looked at my documentation and muttered about never seeing a "European Blue Card" application before, that he didn't know what was required for my dossier and that he hoped we were prepared to be at the prefecture for a LONG time (all in French, of course).  I came across the same lack of knowledge about a European Blue Card at the consulate - it appears that not many people take advantage of this visa, even though it's one of the easiest ways to immigrate to France from a non-EU country.  Of course, you have to meet the educational or work experience requirements, plus a salary requirement, but then you're entitled to the same benefits as a resident and have a path to permanent residency.

Moulin Rouge, 2009

Fortunately, the prefecture official came back quickly with the binder for the European Blue Card (aka "passeport talent") and was able to confirm that I had all of the required documents and French translations.  Ironically, my original documents were barely glanced at.  All they really cared about were the colored copies that were stamped by the official translator and the translations.  Since I'll have my new address within 8 days of the appointment, they also issued my card with my new address so I didn't have to return to change it.

The official was actually extremely nice and seemed pleasantly surprised that I understood most of the French and was able to give my address and other information in French.  So, I am now in possession of my temporary card (through May 2017) with my permanent one on the way!  I officially have the legal right to live and work in France for the next four years! 😊

I might be homesick occasionally, but if I'd ever made a bucket list, living in France would have been on it.  Ten years ago, I was on my first trip to Europe and I'd been to Paris earlier in the trip, but was returning to the city for one day before I went home.  I remember feeling completely at home, which hadn't been the case for the rest of my trip.  I thought it was just the familiarity because I'd been there before, but when I went to London the next day to fly out, I didn't feel the same, despite speaking nearly the same language as the Brits!  When I returned in 2009, Paris was the only city that I visited for a second time "just because" - I returned to Barcelona and Rome because I'd missed large parts of both cities due to missing a flight (Barcelona) and being extremely ill (Rome).  There wasn't anything in particular that I went back to Paris for though, other than because I really loved France.

Paris 2009 with a truly awful hair cut!

TIP: If you don't have utilities in your name, an attestation of insurance coverage is adequate proof of address (along with your rental contract) for the prefecture.  This also worked when opening my French bank account.

Renting a House in France

There are so many new things about life here (the measurement system being metric, the language, the culture) that at times it can be overwhelming.  I was really not enthusiastic about moving because I knew it was likely that I'd have to do a move-in "inventory" and sign a contract that was all in French.  I also knew that I'd have to figure out how to obtain utilities in French.

I'm very fortunate that I have the general manager that I do!  Clearly, it's not part of his job responsibilities to help me with my house (which falls squarely into the "personal" arena in France), but he did it anyway.  It would have taken me hours to understand everything that was being said, try to make sure the contract reflected what we agreed on and I probably would have been so distracted trying to translate that I would have missed things (which was my experience when viewing houses initially).  PB was able to quickly communicate with the owners, was meticulous about noticing everything and made sure that certain things would be done before I moved in and that they were noted in the contract (like a holder for the shower head).

If you do not speak fluent French and you know ANYONE who does, enlist their help!  The tenant is responsible for basically any damage that is not noted on the move-in report (and not normal wear-and-tear).  PB also told me to take photos of everything.  The couple I'm renting from seem like very nice people, but PB was insistent that I needed to be cautious to protect myself.

I accidentally took a photo of them while photographing chips in the paint.  The infamous PB is to the right and appears to be inspecting my fireplace.

I'd read of other ex-pats having trouble getting utilities turned on in their name (or needing the phone number of the prior occupant to switch the phone over); however, I had no difficulties.  What is strange is that the owners were able to provide my info to the electric and water company without me ever speaking to the companies myself and the bills will apparently be in my name now; this would not happen in the US!  (UPDATE: I received a form to sign and confirm)  Most of the sites for internet service asked for the prior phone number, but I was able to select an option to use my address instead.  After comparing offers, the offer from Orange was the best for my area.  Orange's site was all in French, but I understand enough that I was able to order service (and it was supposed to be on by the 15th, then I received a 2nd message for the 21st - that turned out to be for my TV service though).  The owners indicated that I should contact the local mayor's office to determine what to do about trash pickup - usually the website for the commune will have that info, but the one for my town is useless in that regard.  It did inform me of the rate for my tax d'habitation next year though!

For those who don't know, tax d'habitation is a tax that renters pay, which I believe is a percentage of the rent.  It is based on where you live on January 1, but is not due until later in the year (the bill at my current house arrived in November, due in December).  This is on top of the tax that the property owner pays (which is likely passed down to the renter as well through the rent price)!

Shipping a Container from the US to France

If you've never shipped goods internationally (I hadn't), the differences may come as a surprise.  First, they generally want to pack your stuff themselves to ensure that it doesn't get damaged, so you just sit back and watch.  They'll generally also sort out the items that you cannot import.

I only needed a 20' container because I decided to replace some of my furniture in France.  For reference, the cost for the container and insurance was ~$10,500.

Your items then disappear into transportation limbo until somebody contacts you about 2 months later to tell you that your shipment has arrived at the port.  In my case, I received this communication, then was told over a week later that it was at the port again.  Apparently, the first time they were a little too hasty and it wasn't actually AT the port yet.  There were some shipping issues and the boat was delayed; however, once it arrived on December 2, they were able to schedule the delivery for December 8.  It will not always be this fast because your shipment can get held up if customs decides they want to look at everything in it.

International Move - Pleasant Surprises:

• The moving company will pack all of your belongings
• When unpacking the container, they will also put all of your boxes in the specific rooms that you want them in (I recommend learning the names of the rooms in French - once I made the connection for them between the English on the box and the correct room in French, they didn't have to ask me for EVERY box)
• They will unwrap all of your furniture and take the heaps of paper with them!
• Not only did they put my furniture where I wanted it, but when I realized that my bedroom furniture wouldn't fit that way, they rearranged the furniture for me
• Some of my furniture had been taken apart for the move - the movers put it all back together, so I had fully functional furniture!😀

International Move - Unpleasant Surprises:

• Three movers came to my house in the US.  One of them was apparently new because he didn't know what he was supposed to leave behind.  I had a cupboard labeled "do not pack" because it contained cleaning supplies that are banned for import - he packed them.  Fortunately, I noticed and they unpacked the box because I needed the cleaners at my old place!  Had I not noticed though, I could have imported a whole box of banned items!!!😣
• One of my boxes was completely missing.  It contained a nice monitor for editing my DSLR photography (replaceable) and an old computer with files that I wanted to go through before disposing of it - hopefully there was nothing I actually needed!  The worst part are the framed photos that are also missing from the same box.  One of the photos was the first DSLR picture that I printed of my own work, so it had a lot of sentimental value. I'm still waiting to hear from the US on whether they could locate the box in the warehouse there.
• One of my other boxes, labeled "electronic equipment" had a side that was damaged.
• Houses here are not made for American-sized furniture.  A lot of the furniture here is designed to come apart, for good reason.  My couch barely fit through the door and my queen-size box spring was too tall and too wide to make it up the stairs no matter how they turned it.  The movers suggested that I should instead have two small box springs and left my current one in the living room . . . I will be sleeping on a mattress on the floor until I remedy this problem.

TIP: After looking for a new box spring online (not exactly a box spring, but rather a "sommier"), I'd recommend just leaving your bed and buying a new one in Europe.  I can purchase an entire set with mattress, sommier and headboard for only slightly more than the cost for JUST a sommier.  Not to mention, a "queen size" bed here is slightly wider and slightly shorter than the US version, so nothing is going to be quite the right fit!

Homesick and Co-hosting a Birthday Party in France

The last couple of weeks have been a little rough for me.  I missed my first major family holiday (Thanksgiving) and it was especially difficult to see the photos and realize that I'm missing out on all of these moments.  I'm also missing all of my niece's "firsts" since she was just one month old when I left.  I know my nephews and niece won't really remember these years when they're older, but could I really live here beyond 3 to 4 years?  Could I be happy as the aunt/sister/daughter/friend who only shows up once or twice a year?  I'm not sure I can answer that yet.

What made it worse was having PB tell me that I always have to be here for year-end inventory and I won't ever get to go home for Christmas (before I arrived, I'd been told I always had to take the week of Christmas off for the plant shutdown, so this was an unpleasant surprise).😢  Fortunately, he reversed course a little when he realized that I was upset about this - while I do need to be here for the year-end inventory, in 2017 I could still fly out on Saturday, the 23rd, and be home for Christmas.  The same would be true in other years as well, so he told me that he's certain that we can work something out.

The other thing that suddenly started bothering me was just acknowledging that I'm living in a country where I have no family and no long-term, really close friends.  I have friends here now, but I think it would feel like more of an obligation if I needed their help with something serious (say, a 2 AM hospital visit), whereas I have friends in the US who would WANT to be there if I really needed them (and I'd similarly want to be there for them).  In other words, I have friends here who'd help me move, but not help me move bodies. 😉

I know my blog probably seems mostly positive because I truly do love France, but I've come across a few ex-pat blogs now and it's pretty consistent that we all have tough times.  

I've been lucky to avoid the bureaucratic issues mostly, although nobody seems to be able to figure out HOW to get me a social number.  I've also been fortunate to make a few friends quickly, but you just don't replace friendships of years, or decades, so easily.  Given that, I view occasional homesickness as normal . . . but I'm glad it passed again for now!

Co-Hosting a French Birthday Party
On another topic, Alexis and I had a tough time trying to decide what to do for L’américaine's birthday.  Should we bring flowers, a good cheese and champagne to the festival?  But then what would she do with them all day?  Maybe we could buy her something at the festival?  We wandered off alone a couple of times to look around, but we couldn't decide on anything specific to buy for her since everyone pretty much bought what they really wanted on the spot.

We finally decided that we should host a dinner party for her (and I requested the same main dish he'd made for me).  Since L’américaine and Alexis are neighbors, it was more convenient to have it at his house.  With the long hours that I often work, we decided that it made more sense for him to do the main dish.  He also wanted to do the apéritif, which I thought just meant alcohol, so I offered to manage the entrée, dessert and flowers.  It turns out an apéritif can be more than just a few chips or peanuts with your drink, it can be a lot of small bread pieces with different toppings, so we skipped a separate entrée.  With just dessert and flowers, I felt like I was getting off pretty easy, especially since the birthday celebration had been my idea, but Alexis insisted that it was "his pleasure."

I showed up 30 minutes early to help get everything ready and had a minor moment of embarrassment because I was showing Alexis my temporary Carte de Sejour and he immediately noticed and asked about my "divorced" status.  I hadn't really thought about it being on my card when I showed it to him nor had I realized that he didn't already know I'm divorced.  I wasn't quite sure what to say about it other than to confirm that yes, I am indeed a divorcée.  Fortunately, L’américaine showed up then and I was spared having to decide if I was required to provide any further explanation.

Overall, the dinner went well, although with champagne to start and pineau with dinner (which is stronger than wine), the conversation became rather lively as the evening went on!  It also went a little late for a work night, but I didn't realize until the following day that I'd left Alexis with all of the cleaning as well!  😔  

It is funny that there are so many things about French culture that seem foreign to us that L’Américaine and I still ask some of the same questions of new French people, like, "Is it really true that if a guy smiles at you and you smile back, he will assume you're interested?"  The answer has consistently been "yes," but as Americans, we smile back just to be polite.  It's a real learning curve to discover that simple things like this can lead to a misunderstanding!  It's so unbelievable for us that we've had to ask four different French people if this is ACTUALLY true.

It's also entertaining to watch a French person's reaction to learning that it is perfectly acceptable in the US to go on a first date on Friday night, kiss the guy, and go out with a different guy on Saturday and kiss him too . . . and neither guy would assume he was your boyfriend!  Not that all US guys would like this or all women do it, but if you want to watch a French person's eyebrows raise up nearly into their hairline, explain this little bit of American dating etiquette to them. 😂  Or that you can do whatever you want with other people until you actually discuss your dating status.  There's nothing so simple as "we kissed, so we're exclusive" in the US!

Sadly, Alexis is now gone for the next couple of weeks, so I was "forced" to expand my social circle even more by meeting up with EX-PATS!  More on this in my next blog.

House Hunting in Rural France

The Tuesday post has become the Monday post so it spreads them out a little more!  "Pierre" also knows about the blog now and disliked his nickname, so I have his permission to use his real name, which is Alexis.😊

I started my house/apartment hunting with a pretty optimistic wish list.  I wanted a place that was in, or very near, the town I work in BUT still had an easy spot to park my car, 2 bedrooms, space for a small dining room (since having friends for dinner is a big thing here), at least 70 m2, NO yard, plenty of natural light and didn't look like it was last renovated when France still had a monarchy.😲

From my time here earlier in the year, I was already over the first big shock with rentals in France - most of them do not include appliances.  And I mean ANY appliances, so you're providing your fridge, oven (although some have a gas cook top and most have a vent), washing machine, dishwasher, etc. (and this assumes there is space and connections for these appliances - dishwasher connections are a rarity).

The second shock came when I started looking at ads.  You have to actually confirm that the place has kitchen and bathroom cupboards!  Since the owner has to maintain whatever is included, you may find that they've simply removed them all, as well as curtains and light fixtures.  Unless a prior tenant left theirs behind, you might be supplying them.  Originally, I added "must have cabinets" to my list, but after seeing some of the poor quality or mismatched cabinets installed, I started changing my mind.  What finally took "must have cabinets" off my list was seeing furnished photos of an apartment and realizing that you can purchase nice free-standing cabinets easily - no installation required!  Below is the kitchen of my new house - note the lack of appliances and cabinets - conveniently, this means I can select a nice stove of my choosing, without squeezing it into a tiny cutout, and I have room for a full American-sized fridge/freezer combo.

Since my primary criteria originally was to find a place near work, and I'd found almost nothing online "by owner," PB recommended that I contact an agency.  I had my next shock in regards to French renting - they often use an agent and the TENANT also pays a fee of several hundred Euro!  I wasn't thrilled about this, but went to a local bilingual agency.  Unfortunately, they told me the house I'd asked about was being repaired and they had nothing else in the area that met my criteria.  I was a little unhappy that they didn't tell me this BEFORE the appointment.  They did find three places in the same town that Alexis and L’américaine live in though, so I headed to the other office a few days later.  The first townhouse had a "workshop" on the first floor with the flat on the second floor, but unfortunately, the workshop had actually been a former pet clinic and still smelled vaguely of wet dog.  It also looked very clinical.  The upstairs space had been divided up into two bedrooms and an office, so the living room was far too small for my couches and no hope of any sort of dining room.

The second house had a large kitchen that could have held a small dining room table and the living room was plenty large (with tile), so I was hopeful until I saw the bedrooms.  They had uneven floors with really bad linoleum!  I know carpet is not common here, but typically there are hardwoods, good laminates or tile.  The rent was low enough (€350) that, after seeing a few other places, this house remained a back-up option.  Ultimately, the house I chose had bad linoleum in the guest room and office also - time to invest in a nice area rug for the guest room!

The third listing that I really liked ALSO turned out to "need repairs" and the estimated completion date wasn't until February!  The exterior and interior pictures were gorgeous, so I was quite disappointed.  Since the agency route hadn't worked out, I went back to looking at ads myself, but expanded my criteria to include the towns 20 minutes North and South, plus with a small yard.

I used my limited French to contact owners, some of whom called me back in response (before I learned to only provide my e-mail)!  Fortunately, PB was willing to patiently listen to the handful of voicemails and confirm that I understood correctly or tell me what I hadn't understood.  In one case, he returned the call for me, joking that he was now a very expensive secretary. 😊  I was able to make arrangements in this manner to view an apartment near work and two in a neighboring town early last week.  One of them asked for a guarantor (co-signer) despite my income level and CDI (permanent contract) because they'd had a problem with a past tenant.  PB didn't think I'd have any luck finding a guarantor, but Alexis very kindly offered to do it.  It's a strange, strange world when a college student with an internship could be a co-signer for an accounting manager (welcome to France)!  Fortunately, I didn't have to take Alexis up on that because I told the owners that I understood their situation since I'd been a landlord in the US before.  Apparently that helped because they decided that they'd make an exception for me if I paid a two month deposit (which I later learned is not actually legal in France).

I think this will be the master bedroom, after the owners replace the carpet with new flooring.

Before I even made it to any of my new visits, I learned the apartment in town was only for people who qualified for some level of public assistance, which is apparently the majority of French people (hence the reason this wasn't pointed out to me); however, with a US-comparable salary for a Controller, I clearly don't qualify.  I did find an additional apartment to see in Ruffec though, so I had three new options.

My visit to Ruffec started off disastrous.  The first place I saw had plenty of space, but the bedrooms were oddly shaped, the prior tenants were smokers and there was black mold growing on the ceiling.  Just no.  The next place was an apartment that looked lovely from the outside (for rural France anyway) and when I first walked in, I was thrilled!  Old hardwoods, easy to park on the street in front, plenty of space, plenty of light!  The bathtub looked ancient, but there was a bathtub!  And a bidet, but whatever.  The kitchen was nice, even if the cupboards didn't match.  We then entered the master bedroom, which was also great . . . until I realized that the other door in the master bedroom led to the 2nd bedroom.  Strange, but not a deal-breaker until I learned that it was the only way into the 2nd bedroom because the other door opened into the hall and was permanently locked.  I guess this is great if you have a baby, but not so great as a guest room!  Initially, I didn't want the space that came with a 3 bedroom place, but I was starting to realize that I needed a dining area in France (dinners with friends being common) and having my photography equipment, monitor and filing cabinets in their own space would be nice. The house I ultimately picked has 3 smaller rooms, so my office is a separate space from the guest room . . . and has a view of an old part of town that I really enjoy!

The last apartment was a large one above a shop.  It looked really lovely in the photos and it did not disappoint in person!  It was by far my favorite interior and was the place where I realized the cabinets in the photos weren't included and were free-standing.  There were two primary problems with the apartment: the only toilet was down a narrow set of stairs and the bedrooms were upstairs - not that I wake up often to use the restroom, but when I do, I don't want to stumble down a set of stairs, AND it was on a main city street with only timed street parking.  Within a couple of blocks, there were parking options, but on a rainy winter night, I'm not keen on hauling groceries a couple of blocks.  Worse, I'll need to visit Ikea (pronounced "EE-kay-uh" here, not "Eye-key-ah, like at home) for furniture and I can't imagine trying to haul all of that stuff for two blocks, then up narrow stairs.  Even though it is timed parking, I was glad I'd parked once and just walked to all three places because the parking was basically full . . . and the typical European parallel parking, where you have to wedge your car in and may need to use bumpers.  This is one of the reasons I ended up choosing the house that I did - I have a garage and my guests can park in my driveway, next to my kitchen window or in a free city lot that's just to the left behind my house.

I was pretty disillusioned at this point!  I hadn't seen anything that really jumped out at me as the right place, although the last apartment was really nice inside.  I decided that I'd take another look at the ads to see if anything new had popped up and, fortunately, some had!  I was able to make two new appointments right away (with the help of PB).

The first apartment was perfect!  It was painted with gorgeous contrast walls, very near the center of Ruffec (but with easy street parking right in front) and three bedrooms.  The only downside was that the roof sloped on two of the rooms, so the layout wasn't great, but it was certainly workable.  Unfortunately, I learned the property was also qualified for government assistance, so I couldn't rent it (same with two other nice apartments I saw advertised in my town).

Some of the villages and towns in the region butt up against each other and there are three cities combined that I was considering to be "in the city where I work."  The last house was in this area - closer to work, but further from the actual center of Civray (restaurants and markets).  The only other preference on my list that it didn't meet was "no yard."  While it might sound strange to prefer no yard, I work long hours and travel a lot on the weekends, so I don't really have time for a yard (and I'm allergic to grass anyway).  Fortunately, the yard appears to have been poorly cared for before, so I can essentially start from scratch.  Since the landlords have to give a minimum 3 year lease here (I can move before that), I might hire someone to turn it into a low-maintenance garden area with NO grass (since there's virtually none now).  Seems like a good investment to turn my yard into something I'll enjoy for three years!  Plus, now that I have it, and with Sundays pretty dead in the countryside, the idea of doing a little gardening is kind of appealing.

I had been concerned that people might not want to pick an American to rent to since I barely speak French, but apparently I spoke enough, or at least understood enough, that I was chosen to rent the house.  I was a little unsure after my first viewing because my impression had been that things were a little dated, but the owners are working on it and, when I returned during the day with natural light, everything looked really nice!  There's a ton of natural light due to large windows and French doors, so I'm pretty happy with my choice.  

I still have to complete the "inventory" (aka move-in walk-through) and sign my contract, which will all be in French.  Alexis will be back in his hometown for the next couple of weeks, so I asked PB if he was willing to help.  It seemed a little "above and beyond," so I was really happy when he said yes, as long as it was a weekday.  We have a pretty good working relationship, so I teased him about his lack of dedication to his employees since he wouldn't stay in the local area on the weekend just to help me.  He basically told me that he likes me, but he doesn't like me THAT much. 😀  To be fair, he's from a larger town and thinks that we work in the middle of nowhere!  He's commented several times on the fact that he can't imagine why I want to live here or how I find anything to do on weekends!

In honor of Thanksgiving in the US, last weekend was a big food weekend!  Alexis came over to my house for my first three-course French dinner (with aperitif), then a group of us went to a food festival in a neighboring town.  More on this in my next blog!